Saturday, July 24, 2010

Centus 12 Long Road Home

This Saturday Centus # 12. The prompt must be used word for word somewhere in the story. Tom contributed the prompt this week. The prompt is highlighted. For complete rules see:http://jennymatlock.blogspot.com/2010/07/saturday-centus-week-12.html.



Driving six hours is a long time on the road. Six hours spent singing car-aoke and taking in the picturesque scenery, but mostly reminiscing about the good times. But those days were long gone and my mind was in a different place now. Or was it? My pulse quickened as I passed the road sign which read "Medford 27 miles."

The sign forced me to deal with why I had come, my mother’s funeral. After Dad’s death, my sister got what she had always wanted. She had my mother all to herself; I was cut out as Della took over the house, the possessions, the mother. Now nothing was left except the bitterness of sibling rivalry. Would seeing my mother put in the ground end it, as I would never have to return here again? Maybe, but the emptiness and longing for a family I once knew would remain always.

18 comments:

cj Schlottman said...

Bookie,
Your character's anxiety is palpable. Her resentment may rob her of any happiness she can put together with her mother's memory, may deepen her sense of emptiness. What a conundrum. This is very touching.
Thanks for your comment on my entry today. Always glad to hear from you!

..........cj

Viki said...

This was excellent. All too true in some families. This was a really interesting and different use of the prompt. I could go on and on reading about this sibling relationship.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

I could feel this from your words. Great writing.

5thsister said...

I concur with Viki...EXCELLENT. You took the prompt in the true spirit of Saturday Centus and wrote a phenomenal story. I just complained and am now feeling so very small. I bow to you, Claudia!

Terra said...

This was quite nice, really. Wondering if her long resentment would end yet knowing it really can't change her feelings. ver nice.

Malisa said...

Oh, very sad! You had me right there with you in the car with all those bad feelings coming to the surface! I enjoyed your emotional journey!

Malisa

Vicki said...

Great take this week. Very emotional. Did this come from 'real life' in your world? If so, I hope it got fixed..

June Freaking Cleaver said...

I'm betting there are plenty of families who have been through that same thing.

And do you think that there's ever a sense of "closure", so someone can get past that hurt?

jfb57 said...

Oooo! Really liked this & quite a different take on the -prompt! Well done!

easternsparkle said...

I can almost see you staring out of the window as you make your journey home - well written.

Tgoette said...

What an excellent take on this prompt, Claudia! This story exposes an ugly side to some families where insatiable greed drives families apart when they should be pulling together. Brilliant!

Your stories always seem so real and organic and your writing style so effortless. Great job!

My name is PJ. said...

You nailed this. I've seen it happen all to often in real life.

Kat said...

This was a beautiful use of the prompt Claudia. Really well written, you captured her feelings so perfectly in so few words. Well done! Kat

Tina said...

I liked this. A lot packed in a tight, little package, with a palatable grief.

BECKY said...

Awesome story, Claudia! You are such a talented writer!! (and a very sweet person, too!!)

Cheryl said...

Tightly written just as the scene unfolding was a tightly lived moment.

Life@Cee said...

Hauntingly sad and very well written.
Cee

Jenny said...

Claudia. I loved this. This line really spoke to me: Now nothing was left except the bitterness of sibling rivalry. I don't know if this was autobiographical or not but this one really felt relevant to me.

Thank you for giving me food for thought.