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I love old barns and the stories they could tell. Today’s
metal sheds are nothing compared to the barns made with wooden beams and that
sport hay lofts. So when the Friday Fictioneer picture went up, I saw lots of
tales in that decrepit old barn. However, it was so hard to reduce any story of
this picture to 100 words! But I played fair and used only the required 100.
For complete rules to play along or to read more shorties,
go http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/
Leaving Home
I rock in the oak chair, rungs squeaking on each backward tilt.
The yellow tabby brushes my ankles as I scan my corner of Breezy Holler. My
fingers itch to push fresh peas out of the pod, but I wear my Sunday dress.
“Mom, you ready?” My son already heads to the car with my
valise as he waits for me to say goodbye to seventy years of living.
I know the place is no longer our pristine cabin, that the
porch rails wobble like my knees. I glance at the dilapidated milking barn,
remember Henry there.
My life fades.
20 comments:
Hi Claudia,
If only they could talk . . . Your story is very evocative and sad.
I had to sell my family house about nine years ago. The ending of your story reminds me having my last look. Touching.
Dear Claudia,
A poignant story. You made me feel a lifetime in just a hundred words.
shalom,
Rochelle
The imagery is lovely, like going home.
Very touching - real emotion in your story.
Oh my goodness you conveyed so much with so few words. Love it!
How's your weather? Snow and sleet here.
Lovely, Claudia. My grandparents lived on a farm and I can identify with this.
janet
What terrific memories.
Hi Claudia -- it went from hopeful to sad. You used each word well.
I can't imagine walking away from a lifetime of memories. What a difficult thing that must be. And yet I've watched both sets of grandparents do it, plus my in-laws. I'm not sure I could put those emotions to words. You do a lovely job here.
Debra Kristi
P.S. Blogger doesn't like my WP identity.
So sad when life moves on, forcing the change. We will hold on forever unless life changes our path.
Hi Claudia,
Such good writing. Felt like I was right there. Like you, I love old barns, old farmhouses, the country lifestyle. Felt sad for your character as she ends this era in her life. Ron
Very sad, well done. You made me feel for her.
Packed with everything. Not a thing missing. Well done.
But she will take her memories with her. No need for a valise for those.
"squeaking on each backward tilt"--I love sound in a piece of writing. so many of us forget about it.
I feel sad for her that she can't gather her peas. How sad to leave such a beautiful place.
Denmother
Wonderful melancholy, and indeed not pristine any longer.
Such sadness. Guess nothing lasts forever.
Such a sad story
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