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The snow has cleared here in much appreciated sunshine that resulted in melting, but there might be more coming. So we wait for spring. Meanwhile I am surprised and pleased to see two new Followers. Welcome to Poetic Justice and Cathy C. Hall!
Today is Saturday Centus and Jenny threw out one crazy prompt again! That means we have to write something using the prompt I'd catch a grenade for ya in 100 words or less. My contribution follows. For complete rules visit Jenny at her blog:http://jennymatlock.blogspot.com/2011/02/saturday-centus-id-catch-grenade-for-ya.html.
Life in His Hands
“Medic!” he screamed for the second time, but his call was dulled by the shrieking shrapnel around him. Smoke burned his eyes and reminded him of autumn burns on the Kansas prairie. What was he doing on this Pacific island anyway? Why weren’t the leather harness lines across Old Bette’s black rump in his hands instead of the bloody hand he held?
“Serge, I always said I’d catch a grenade for ya,” whistled the Bronx accent.
“Shut up, Sal. I’m getting you out of here.” He watched without conviction as the soldier’s femoral artery pumped sunset red blood out to moisten the rocky terrain. “Medic!”
22 comments:
Quite good...visual, visceral... Peace and blessings
Surreal and gritty at the same time....excellent job !!!
The picture you painted is very vivid - Good job.
Excellent imagery. Well done!
Geez, I am not sure weather to cry or compliment. I might do both.
Your visuals are terrific! Nice job and good take on the prompt!
I agree with many of the other commenters. Your concrete and very visual images make for a great SC. They give this peace weight.
Well done!
Namaste..........cj
I echo those above! The imagery amazing and the tension palpable. Awesome work!
Mine can be found After the Silence
Great imagery, Claudia. This happens every day, and we should always remember that it does.!!
Great job, Bookie. Really, really powerful. Also, want to thank you for all your visits to my blog and all your comments, too. You are a sweetheart. Susan
This was powerful in its imagery and I felt very sad reading it...especially as this really happens.
I agree with everyone. The imagery is sharp and powerful. You really pull us directly into the scene. I really like "...pumped sunset red blood out to moisten the rocky terrain." Great centus.
xoRobyn
Wow. that is gritty, for sure.
Nice job!
=)
Wow, outstanding job with this week's prompt! Such a visceral and emotional piece and so well written! Kudos!
Dear Claudia,
I am late in commenting.
I have to agree with those before me that you have done an excellent job here.
I did think about setting this text in a combat zone. It really works best there, because of the reality of soldiers in battle. But I decided that, as a writer, I was not equipped to do it.
Thank you for your kind words about my SC-text. I thought this prompt was hard to do.
Best wishes,
Anna
For the benefit of other readers:
Anna's SC week 42 Maisy-Jane
This was such an evocative piece! Your imagery is striking. I especially loved the line "leather harness lines across Old Bette's black rump..." you really captured the disconnect between "real life" and war. Beautifully written. Kat
Wonderfully vivid imagery. The horror of war poised against his peace time world. Brilliant.
What an excellent turn for this prompt...I like where you took it!
Oh my. Very descriptive. I can see it happening that way. Excellent!~Ames
Wow, Claudia, you really nailed it. Perfect way to upgrade that lyric with a classy tale (I've heard the song...LOL...my daughter listens to it). Great imagery, nice show of characters.
Powerful, moving, vivid. Wonderful job, Claudia.
Donna v.
Oh Claudia. This was brilliant and moving. This felt like so much more than 100 words...this felt epic.
Your imagery was profound.
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