Saturday, January 22, 2011

Saturday Centus/Family Matters

It is Saturday Centus again and Jenny almost  knocked me out of play this week with her prompt of "Beam me up, Scottie". But I rallied, found a way, and I am back in the game again! For complete rules go to: http://jennymatlock.blogspot.com/2011/01/saturday-centus-be-afraid-be-very.html


                         

                                                            Family Matters

She helped her mother-in-law through the optometrist’s door. “Hope he doesn’t rip me off for new glasses again,” her shaky voice blared across the office.



Rachel winched, but the biting words were not unexpected. The receptionist ushered Ethyl right back to a room, having learned it was far better that way. Rachel watched the dowager’s hump ease down the hall while her own shoulders felt stooped by burdens.


Why had Frank died leaving his mother in her charge?


“We never liked her, but she’s all I have now,” echoed the stabbing voice.


“Beam me up Scottie”, mumbled Rachel.

24 comments:

Terra said...

Oh boy, Do I ever get this. Really well portrayed. It really can be a sci-fi experience - I get it.

jeff campbell said...

Fine writing although a bit sad...Peace and blessings

Karen S. said...

Oh gosh hurry quick Scottie this girl needs out! Nicely written in an un-sci-fi way, excellent!

Judie said...

Doggone that Frank! Can't someone else take her??

Sue said...

This one really made me feel something.

And there are all kinds of science fiction, right? Horror is horror.

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Viki said...

This is great. I loved your take on it. I'm afraid this happens in a lot of families. Good job.

5thsister said...

I know her!!!!

Cherie said...

Great job and almost too close to the real truth.
Love the dowagers hump - nice addition.

articlesoffaithandfancy said...

Oh, no! It would be funny if it weren't so sad . . . Great Take!

Dazee Dreamer said...

I liked it. I've felt those moments myself.

Kat said...

This was a great take! Very well written, and sounds like a very true slice of life. Nicely done! Kat

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Well done. Have to feel sorry for her! I think I'd want to be beamed up, too, under those circumstances. My father-in-law lives with us, but he's a doll...I lucked out! No beaming up required. :)

Alli Blue said...

Very nice tale~

Tgoette said...

Very well written piece. Loved how it elicited such empathy for poor Rachel. Sucks to be her! Great job!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Yes, poor Rachel. This really makes me feel for her. That's the sign of a well written piece.
xoRobyn

nimaruichi said...

Such a touching tale!

jfb57 said...

Oh that's a little sad but understandable!

Ames said...

Poor Rachel. Excellent!~Ames

Tina said...

Oh wow. I remember both my grandmothers becoming similar versions of Ethyl. Really well done, Claudia.

Nancy Jane said...

Powerful...

Anna said...

Oh my. I've just started going down the list. It strikes me that many may try to use this prompt in an 'un-sci-fi-way'.
I really like your text. It is well-written and leaves me wondering what it is really about until the last word. Then I understand that it is about a widow who is burdened with the care of her difficult mother-in-law. It is not a sci-fi-text in one way - it is very real! But the character may be a fan of sci-fi because she uses the very sci-fi-line 'Beam me up...' She wants out! In an other connection she might have said 'Sweet Jesus..' or 'Oh Lordie...' or 'Mary, Mother of God..' depending upon whom she believes can help her.
Very well done!
Best wishes & hugs,
Anna
For the benefit of other readers:
Anna's Blue Planet SC week 38

Anna said...

Dear Claudia,
Thank you for your concern about my broken glasses. I can still use them, but if they were to fall apart I would have problems. (I am going to try to glue them together.) Being near-sighted I would not be allow to drive a car without them. But thankfully, I don't have to use a car to get around. This town is so small that I walk or take a bus to everything.

Sweet of you to think about me. I have my 'ups and downs' now because I am in the middle of a divorce and will have to move to a new dwelling soon. So there may be days or even weeks when I will not be able to post or comment has much as I would like.

Hugs & blessings!
Anna

Rek said...

Its great how you took a normal occurrence and gave it a Sci-fi twist and came out with a tale that touches a raw nerve......

Jenny said...

Wow. What a great use of this prompt. I like the almost bitter edge to this writing. Really excellent.