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Like
most people, I am joyful to see October and autumn arrive. This is my birthday
month and it has always been special to me. When I had harsh hay fever in
younger years, it always started on Labor Day weekend. By October I could see
the end coming with a possible frost ahead! One good thing about being older
and having worn out some of the allergies is that I can breathe in October!
Already a few trees are turning in their tops. Pumpkins are popping up
everywhere. Mums are bursting out in fall colors.
Still
I felt some heaviness this week. I dreaded something, but it was unnamed,
vague. A life that feels filled with busyness and issues took its toll. Then
Wednesday the Ozark Writers League exploded. Email after email of resignations,
lamentations, accusations. Though I was not directly involved in any way, I
suffered seeing this group of 35 years shatter apart. It seemed symptomatic of
the life these days.
Thursday
the exercise group was nearly empty as so many people were away facing many
issues or on trips. The few that remained had horror stories from the weekend
about their experiences with rude, ignorant, angry, or self-righteous people. That
afternoon the book club was also attended by only half the group. Again several
stories of illnesses or bad experiences or life hassles in general. Then we learned
of the Oregon shooting
No one seems to know what is going on or how to fix the parts of our country that are broken. Teachers face parents that want their kids excused from assuming responsibilities or facing consequences. Churches are deep in hypocrisy. The mentally ill are turned loose on communities because it is more important to fund football stadiums than mental health centers. Crowds are following men smart about one subject or another and assume they are leaders for our country. Worse yet they follow bigots like little piggies doing jigs all the way home. Civility? Whoops, it doesn’t exist anymore. Instead people practice being angry, defensive, and ready to puff out their chests with some imagined indignation.
Tonight
on the news I heard people were paying it forward with coffees…smiling more…trying
to be aware and be helpful to others in light of what they saw in Oregon….and
many other places in these United States. That is good but why does it take a
massacre to move them first? Why do F-5 tornados, killer hurricanes, kidnapped
children, or earthquakes wake up our
humanity? Shouldn’t we practice being the best humans possible every day…not
Muslim humans, White humans, Republican humans, immigrant humans, rich humans,
beautiful humans….but just good humans?
For
over five years I have managed not to rant on this page. Tonight I broke my
record I am sad to say. But I just can’t seem to find any sense in things these days…everything
is warped or twisted. I will keep trying though. My recently deceased friend
advised me often to be a believer, to be hopeful.
Said
she, “If there is horse poop in the front yard, there MUST be a pony somewhere
close by!”
4 comments:
Love your friend's outlook. And if it isn't a pony, perhaps it is a unicorn.
I really, really wish we could view the world as a community. No us and them, only us. We are all in this together - or should be.
Oh, sweet friend! I'm sad to hear about the distress you've experienced in several of the circles close to you! I'm reading the diaries of Dorothy Day who worked in very difficult surroundings with challenging people and circumstances. She kept coming back to her responsibility to keep things between her and God clean and pure. I'm consoled somehow that such a great woman who accomplished so much had struggles similar to ours...
You did an excellent job of ranting, Claudia. Sometimes we have to rant, and as long as we make valid points (which you definitely did) others will join in our rants (I definitely did). And when you conclude with such a wonderful tag line of hope "...there must be a pony close by" you get 5 stars. :)
Your rant was well-written. :) The points you make are valid, Claudia, and I'd not deign to disagree. My husband often comments about the way things are "these days," and I always tell him I don't think it's so different than it ever was, we just hear about it all in a nanosecond now as opposed to years ago when so many things remained local rather than global. All we can do is all we've ever done, which is to be the best we can be for our own little corner of the world, help who we can along the way, and leave kindness in our wake. I always told my kids, "No matter where you are or what you're doing, try to leave things better than you found them." I'm sorry you've felt weighted down. I wish something joyous for you this week.
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