My written response:
It was the most peculiar sign, a
finger pointing the way and a laughing face, an inside joke. I entered the rock
wall and headed into the castle. Despite bright sun, the stone walls were cool
inside. Moisture clung to the mortar; darkness was relieved by candlelight.
I meandered through the chilly rooms
admiring the fireplaces. I ascended stairwells with worn spots in the steps
where centuries of feet had tramped before me. By evening I realized I was viewing
the same rooms, the same heavy damask draperies. I was beginning to understand
the sign, but I wasn’t laughing.
Very atmospheric piece, I was beginning to feel a bit chilly reading it. This has a nice feel to it, a bit Poe-like. I think it was he who wrote about someone climbing the steps to the top of a dark tower, counting as he went along, and when he tried to descend he just kept on counting, way past the number of steps he'd climbed... Urgh!
ReplyDeleteHi Claudia, nice story, and welcome to Friday Fictioneers (this is only my third week at it, and I'm really enjoying it).
ReplyDeleteI love the imagery you've used here Claudia. We were thinking along the same lines - creepy face. My story is here this week http://anneorchardwriter.wordpress.com/2012/11/22/friday-fictioneers-pride-goes/
ReplyDeleteHi Claudia,
ReplyDeleteNice story which builds to a subtle but disturbing conclusion. Ron
Welcome to FriFic, Claudia... your story made me think of tramping up endless stone stairs in many Welsh castles... I made it out. I liked your story... sounds like the start of a scary movie. I still haven't thought of anything...
ReplyDeleteLots of us had creepy stories in response to the creepy face, lol. Enjoyed your story. Welcome to the Fictioneers!
ReplyDeleteCould have seen it heading in so many different directions - comedy, drama, horror, suspense...
ReplyDeleteScott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2012/11/22/friday-fictioneers-7/
I like the descriptions at the beginning and the disturbing end when realisation sets in.
ReplyDeleteI like it.
Welcome to the Fictioneers, where you'll find great people, excellent writing and addictive fun! I enjoyed the atmosphere you conjured up in your piece and came away with an Escher-like picture in my head of someone going around and around and around, even when they thought they weren't.
ReplyDeleteMoisture clung to the mortar; darkness was relieved by candlelight.
ReplyDeletethis is where a writer's work is done. by finding another way to describe something, just putting together a couple of words different. darkness "relieved" instead of saying the hall was lit by a candle or something like that. well done.
rich
Very creepy indeed. And lovely language.
ReplyDeleteDear Claudia,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Friday Fictioneers.
You did a great job of setting tone and backdrop. I loved "centuries of feet". Nice.
I look forward to reading more of you in the future.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I was very pleased to seek out this net-site.I wanted to thanks on your time for this wonderful learn!! I definitely enjoying every little little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.
ReplyDeleteYou have an incredible imagination. Thanks for mentioning this site. I will check it out.
ReplyDeleteNicely done, Claudia! I love your take on the photo.
ReplyDeletevery nice, your word selection was rich and sensual.
ReplyDeleteGood description of many a castle tour where everything begins to look the same. Suspect your tour has an unanticipated, sinister end, however.
ReplyDeleteDear Claudia,
ReplyDeleteLost in the castle, leering face and finger pointing the way to nowhere. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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